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The source of all your problems and the surprisingly easy way to deal with it.
Payton Minzenmayer
September 05, 2024
30-Second Version For Busy People
I know the source of all your troubles—it's a lack of focus.
I'm not a wise wizard or someone who’s been talking to all your friends. I’ve struggled with this issue myself, and it was ruining my weekends. But then, I had a moment of clarity that changed everything.
By focusing my mind on the weekend just like I do during the week, I discovered a better thought and a better action.
Better Thought: My mind is where my feet are found.
Better Action: Set a weekend focus
Remember, better thoughts lead to better actions, and better actions lead to better results.
Full Version
I struggled with finding purpose and joy on the weekends.
Sunday through Thursday, I had purpose, peace, and joy, even when leading a church, managing a marriage, or handling family life was hard. I was happy and content.
Then came the weekend.
By mid-morning Saturday, I was pacing around my house, feeling low, scatter-brained, and as if my joy had been sucked from my soul.
What was wrong with me? Was I a workaholic? Was I not wired to turn my brain off and relax on the weekend? Or was there something I didn’t like about being with my family?
After a weekend of wrestling with my internal conflict, I realized my problem: a lack of focus.
During the week, I knew exactly what I was trying to accomplish. I had goals and clear tasks to check off my to-do list and was intensely focused on those tasks.
But when the weekend rolled around, I felt aimless.
My mind didn’t simply switch off. I would try to rest, but it was unfocused, unplanned rest that left me more frazzled afterward. There were no goals, no schedules, no clear tasks in sight.
I decided to take a different approach: I would focus my mind on specific weekend tasks.
It’s like people (myself included) who have work and family calendars. These calendars influence one another, but one can be turned off to prioritize the other.
Fridays became time for personal projects around the house, like mowing the yard or power washing the driveway.
Saturdays are dedicated to my family, with no screens and lots of storytelling.
We, as image-bearers of God, have to live our lives in focus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things
BETTER THOUGHT
Photo by Adrian Swancar / Unsplash
Today's better thought: My mind is where my feet are found.
This is a principle I discuss in A Story on Purpose: Imagine a man at the park with his little girl, pushing her on the swing as she giggles and shouts, 'Higher!'
If his mind is back at the office, worrying about reports that need to be submitted, then he isn't truly at the park with her—he's still in the office.
This was my weekend problem.
My body was at home, but my mind was still in the office, preoccupied with tasks I couldn’t address until Monday. It felt like watching someone steal your Amazon package on your Ring camera while you're stuck at a coffee shop—frustrating and futile, because you're not really there.
This new thought reminds me to keep my mind where my feet are.
In other words, “Be present.”
The best way I’ve found to do this is by setting a clear focus on my weekends—knowing what I want to accomplish and understanding why those things are valuable enough to prioritize.
“Most people don’t have trouble with focusing. They have trouble with deciding.
What I mean is that most healthy humans have a brain that is capable of focusing if we get the distractions out of the way. Have you ever had a task that you absolutely had to get done? What happened? You got it done because the deadline made the decision for you. Maybe you procrastinated beforehand, but once things became urgent and you were forced to make a decision, you took action.
Instead of doing the difficult work of choosing one thing to focus on, we often convince ourselves that multitasking is a better option. This is ineffective.”
BETTER ACTION
Photo by Ricardo Arce / Unsplash
Today's better action: Set a weekend focus
I’m still working on establishing this better action. My mind still drifts away from my kids or wife or fun back to my work.
My brain has an amazing highway system that effortlessly redirects my thoughts to work, even when I'm with my family. Weakening this well-worn path will take time.
It's not about being perfect—it's about being intentional. The more you practice, the better you'll get at keeping your mind where your feet are.
How could you begin setting clear goals for a weekend focus?
Maybe you want to take a Sabbath from all screens on Saturday.
Is there a home project you’ve been putting off since you literally bought your house ten years ago?
Does the dog need a bath?
I’m sure your wife would not deny you a date night.
It doesn’t matter what you choose, just make sure it matters to you. Write it down, and when the weekend comes, you'll know exactly where your feet—and your mind—will be. Keep repeating the better thought; when your mind drifts, use it to snap back to the present.
It's exhausting at times, but the rewards are worth the effort.
Wishing you a focused weekend!
BECOMING A BETTER CHRISTIAN
When Christians get better, everyone gets better. Here are a few ways I am getting better this week.
Yesterday, I attended a workshop on raising physically and emotionally healthy citizens. Hosted by a community organization, the workshop provided valuable insights on communicating these ideas to the leaders I work with in Liberia. As we begin planning for the summer of 2025, we've been asked to include experts on narcotics and drug abuse among youth. If you know anyone interested in traveling to Africa this summer to share their expertise, please let me know.
I’m currently in the middle of three books: Storyworthy by Matthew Dicks, You Like It Darker by Stephen King, and A Swim in a Pond in the Rain by George Saunders. King and Saunders are a collection of short stories, and Dicks is on the art of storytelling. All are adding immense value to my own storytelling journey.
I’ve been writing some atomic essays on my X profile. If you’re interested in writing or the art of storytelling, you should take a look.
Hit "reply" and let me know what you're doing!
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